Blog – Page 21

Newsletter March, 2012

New Member:

May I welcome a new member into our ranks. He is Alex Brown from Stenton, East Lothian. Alex was one of the speed fraternity and he is still competing in hill climbs. Details can be found on his page.

Ian Loudon Cox:

Following the January Newsletter, Johnstone Syer emailed me that he was told by a former employee of Ian Loudon Cox that Ian had died recently. Although not a member, I’m sure many of the Veterans will remember Iain on many rallies, sprints, driving tests and races. Johnstone and Bill Syer both co-drove for him, and Ian and Johnstone did the 1963 Monte together in Johnstone’s frog-eyed Sprite.
Ian lived in Cyprus for at least 20 years and he had got in touch with Johnstone on hearing of Bill death as the two of them were big mates at one time. Ian had visited Johnstone later last year along with his brother, Graeme, a former Sheriff of Dundee. and they had a long stroll down memory lane. Apparently, he came over to the UK to visit at Christmas, caught a bug which turned into pneumonia and died in the Edinburgh Royal Infirmary.

Database Changes:

Bill Barr, Marion Hopkins and Doug Niven have all got new email addresses. Each of these changes can be found in the Members and Details section.

Tom MacMillan, Secretary of the Bo’ness Hill Climb Revival has updated his page – motorsport career and lots of pictures.

The 2012 Monte Carlo Historique Rally – Sunday 29th January – update:

It was a really drench Sunday evening when the cars left the start ramp from Clydebank. The organisation of the start was again under the capable hands of members of the Caledonian Classic & Historic Motorsport Club (a few of whom are members of VSMA). The more public of these was David Ross who gave a running commentary on both the front-running 12 entrants and those following the Monte Starters to Dumfries and those on the much gentler run to Drymen! Mairi and I were in the latter group along with Jimmy Rae, both in MGBs. I did say gentler but our route was spoiled by the numerous potholes along the whole route.
One of the Official cars going to Monte Carlo belonged to member Derek Palmer. Derek’s car, a 1979 Porsche 924 turbo, was one of the few Monte entries which started from Clydebank. He felt that those from Glasgow were at somewhat of a disadvantage compared to the Rheims starters as it was an immense challenge. His Porsche driven by his friend Rick Pearson (who now lives in Nice) and Stuart Pringle (Manager at the BRDC at Silverstone) in the co-drivers seat. He felt it was tropical in Clydebank, compared to France, 18 below and a gale blowing at Valence, even Monaco was only 1 degree above, chilly.! They finished with little damage, but the car park at Monte apparently looked like a scrap yard! Four of the Glasgow starters retired due to mechanical problems, and only two finished with no penalties. The Porsche was one of them along with Ralph Forbes and Wesley Massam in a 1978 Fiat 128.

Ian Townsend’s Wilson Lotus – Chassis No. JMYWT1 – Update: Further to last month’s piece about Ian Townsend’s search for information on his Lotus Shell, David Ross was able to pass on some information. Tim Wilson, who had the Nine Mile Burn Garage south of Edinburgh and got the legendary Jo Marquart to design the Wilson for him. The car was subsequently owned by Alastair Macintosh had who raced a TVR along with David’s own Ford Anglia Allardette 1500 and then the Wilson, thereafter a Mallock. David Ross has unearthed a couple of pics of the said car which he took at Rufforth. It’s Alastair working on the engine.

Flower of Scotland: Not a tribute to what has become almost our sporting National Anthem, but a tribute to one of our members, Derek Palmer,SNR and his company Speed Scotland. They have been the force behind the attempt to break the World Land Speed Record in their 1litre Supercharged Class, “Flower of Scotland” Streamliner. Already they have been twice to the Bonneville salt flats in Utah, USA, the last occasion being in August 2011 at the Bonneville Speed Week. The record in their Class stands at 313mph and they managed 265mph before mechanical problems stopped further attempts last year, but they are pretty sure they can break this record! If your interested in taking up this great offer of BHCR membership I have attached a PDF Membership Form. Have a look at their web page http://www.bonesshillclimb.org.uk/ which gives more information on the forthcoming Hill Climb and what you can look forward to.

Spring Run Friday 20th to Sunday 22nd April :

Have you sent in your entry to Bob Baillie yet? Bob has laid down a route down to Stranraer from the Clyde Valley with many familiar rally roads included. As usual, he has laid on entertainment for the evenings and places to visit on the Saturday and Sunday. The weekend headquarters will be at The North West Castle Hotel in Stranraer. The extremely good rates are per person for dinner, B & B – for two nights £109; for three nights £157.50 and for four nights £198. Remember first come first served!

5th Bo’ness Hill Climb Revival, 8th and 9th September 2012:

Although quite a few months off yet, we thought you should know that the BHCR have kindly offered the VSMA to “pitch their tent” at this prestigious event, where members will be able to drop in for a chat, a seat and perhaps a refreshment. Not only that but they have generously offered our members, if they are interested, to join their organisation at reduced rates. For VSMA members the following benefits would include –

 Members Only Enamel Lapel Pin Badge

 Members Only Windscreen Sticker

 BHCR Coaster

 BHCR Tax Disc Holder

 Ron Flockhart Postcard/Notelet (pack of 5)

 Free spectator entry to the Revival Meetings on production of your Membership Card

 Membership of an MSA and SACU approved club with membership card

 A quarterly Newsletter available only to members and not available on the BHCR website

 A copy of the annual full colour 16 page souvenir photo-book of the Revival Meeting

 2 BHCR window stickers advertising the 2012 Revival meeting

 A reduction of £5 from the entry fee for each of the hill climbs (£10)

 The opportunity to assist the club up to and during the 2012 Revival Meeting

 Your Membership Fee helps to maintain, support and improve the oldest Scottish Motor Racing venue.

If your interested in taking up this great offer of BHCR membership I have attached a PDF Membership Form. Have a look at their web page http://www.bonesshillclimb.org.uk/ which gives more information on the forthcoming Hill Climb and what you can look forward to.

BHCR Membership Application Form

Memorabilia:

Those of you who attended our first Reunion in 2001 in the R.S.A.C. building I’m sure will remember Ken Fraser sitting at a table displaying memorabilia of his previous rally exploits. Well, Ken has kindly lent the Association the photograph albums. and other bits and pieces which he had displayed at our first Reunion in the R.S.A.C. in 2001. These have been scanned and can, for the moment, be viewed in the “Tales from the Past” section. They show interesting images of his rallies in the fifties, together with PDFs of some documents which can be viewed when downloaded. One of the 1958 Scottish Rally programmes includes names of several of competitors who are now VSMA members.!

Finally, “Honking at Old People! “:

You may well have seen this video but it is worth a look. I can guarantee you will watch it at least twice! A lady was videotaping her son riding a skateboard when her attention switched to an old woman trying to cross the street. You can hear the lady who is doing the taping giggling as she records the event. Open this attachment from YouTube which you may have seen before ….. It’s a quick one …. Aren’t airbags just great!

That’s all folks………………. !

Stuart Parker, March 2012

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Newsletter January, 2012

I presume, like me, you are thankful that Xmas and Ne’erday are past! I trust you have recovered from the festivities and are now looking forward to a new and hopefully much better economic year.

I mentioned in the last Newsletter that fellow member Alastair Findlay now resides in the Yukon. He has emailed me to say that he would be delighted to hear from any members who cared to send him an email. I am sure he would put you on his mailing list for the regular diary of his Yukon activities – I get one almost twice a week – they make for interesting and often very amusing reading. Alastair can be contacted at alastair.findlayabc@gmail.com

I have just received the following email from Michael Malcolm – “Michael & Ivone Malcolm are delighted to announce the birth of a son, Alisdair Michael Isles Malcolm, born 2 November 2011 at Queen Elizabeth Hospital, Woolwich. Mother and baby (and delighted father) doing well. Hopefully, VSMA will still be around when he qualifies!!!“ Congratulations to Michael and Ivone on their good fortune. We certainly endorse his last remarks.

It has been suggested that there should be a “letters page” within the Newsletters! I would be delighted if there was, but a letter or two would be a start! Any takers?

Website Changes:

An email address change for Stuart Turner can be seen on the List of the Members page. Peter Speakman from Broughton in Furness became a member of our Association in June 2009. You can now view his motorsport details on his page.

More Photographs:

Alasdair Pearson has responded to my plea for more photographs and he has kindly submitted several photographs from his and his father’s motorsport days. These can be seen on Alasdair’s page or the Picture Gallery. I have also placed a few in Public Photographic Gallery which you may have already noticed. The one below is a group of competitors after an event – we are not sure of exactly which event, the year and one of the people shown. Can you help? Who is the A.N. Other?

The practical way to fix a broken sump guard bracket during the 1968 Scottish Rally, and featuring Frankie Pearson, Barrie Anderson, A.N.Other, Fraser Anderson, and Alasdair Pearson.

The 2012 Monte Carlo Historique Rally – Sunday 29th January:

One of the Official Starts for this event will be in Clydebank in the shadow of the famous Titan Crane (check Google Maps for exact location). The first car leaves at 5.0pm although the cars will up line from 2.00pm. There will be plenty of parking space at the new location. There will be a pre-event “Monte Carlo Show” on the site of the former John Brown shipyard before the Monte cars leave the start ramp in front of the Clydebank College campus. Located beside the College bus terminal, in addition to some great club and trade stands, there will be a show of around 100 pre 1980 Classic cars that would have taken part in past Monte Carlo Rallies.
The Caledonian Classic & Historic Motorsport Club are involved again in this event and more information will be avail on their website at http://www.caledonianmsc.com/ As in 2011, immediately after the Monte Starters have left the ramp there will follow a Heritage Run for members of the CC&HMC. The club runs rallies and tours throughout Scotland for historic and sporting cars of all types. If you are interested the contact person is Jim Paterson, 254 Rullion Road, Penicuik, Midlothian, EH26 9JL jim.paterson@btinternet.com Phone: 01968 672644

‘Sports Car Classics’. …by Eric Dymock

While on the subject of classic cars I have just discovered a new ebook from fellow member Eric Dymock called ‘Sports Car Classics’. It comes in two parts, part 1 from the AC to the HRG, and part 2 from the Jaguar to Yamaha. Eric has written numerous books over the years as a motoring journalist. He worked for many major publications including The Motor and the Sunday Times. He now has his own publishing house Dove Digital which publishes books for the iPad, Kindle and other e-readers. Dove Digital’s latest, ‘Sports Car Classics’ is packed with a selection of 50 years’ road tests, feature articles and motoring columns. The ebooks contain original features, road tests and motoring columns on sports cars of the classic era. Some are quoted full length; most are a thousand words just as published between 1960 and 2010. Written for different media, they vary in style. Road tests compiled for The Motor have a technical bias, distilled from the opinions of the road test staff. Sunday Times readers did not expect anything like that. They read Eric Dymock’s unvarnished views on test driving virtually every make of sports car in the second half of the 20th century as well as a good many from the first. Both parts of the book can be downloaded for an e-reader. Details on all Eric’s digital books can be obtained from www.dovepublishing.co.uk Eric’s own blog can be seen at http://ericdymock.blogspot.com/

Who owned this Wilson Lotus – Chassis No. JMYWT1?

Photograph of Lotus 23 chassis owned by Ian Townsend

I recently received an email from non-member Ian Townsend asking if any of our members could help in tracing the early ownership of a Lotus he bought in 1995 (which remains to this day totally unrestored, as you can see from the attached photograph). Ian did ascertain from the previous owner that a Mr Wilson, a Scottish garage owner, did race the car extensively in the North of England and Scotland. It was thought that Wilson had built the car or been the modifier of the remains of the Lotus 23 chassis. The last scrutineering tag on the car was dated 1970. Do any of our SMRC members recognise the car or know of the builder/driver. If you can shed any light on this let me know OR contact Ian directly at +44 (0) 7531 162631 or email him at ian@cmselectra.com

2012 Annual Spring Run:

Bob Baillie, the Clerk of the Course and Secretary of this event has sent me several documents which I have included for your perusal. Bob’s short letter telling you what’s it all about, the ASRs, the Entry Form and the Hotel Booking Form. Just click on any of these to see what’s on offer. If the Run is anything like the ones held in Granton-on-Spey over the past three years, it should be great fun. We look forward to seeing you there.

Finally, have a look at this u-tube video I received from a colleague in Vancouver. The 4-minute video contains some almost unbelievable clips of stunts you would call crazy! You will certainly enjoy the scenery at least. Click on this link http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=EEu42L0ufBY

That’s all folks……………… !

Stuart Parker, 21st January 2012

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Newsletter November, 2011

I am sad to report that member Duncan Laing lost a battle with prostate cancer and died on 25th October. His funeral on 2nd November was exceptionally well attended by many colleagues from both mainstream motorsport and several of the Classic Car Clubs which had become his passion in later years. He had been a member of VSMA since 2001. He was one of the sport’s true gentlemen and will be sorely missed by many. Duncan’s career can now be viewed in the Past Veterans section.

Another equally sad piece of news – at the Lanarkshire Car Club AGM on the 4th of March 2011, it was unanimously decided to close the Club. For the past few years, there has been a decline in members and events, until it was no longer viable to run a productive and active club. The club was formed in the 1930s as a combined motorcycle and car club. It was only after World War II that the car section continued on its own. Like most clubs, it had its ups and downs. In its early days, under the charge of the Neil Sisters, Chrissie and Andy, it ran very social events which were very popular. In its heyday, it ran Scottish Championship rallies including a series of Burmah Rallies. The latter rose in status to become an International event. Those who were members of Lanarkshire Car Car during those days will be very sorry indeed to hear of the club’s demise.

Database Changes:

Some amendments to members’ details – email address changes for Alastair Findlay, Archie Simmonds and Jim Pettigrew. Each of these changes can be found in the Members and Details pages.

More photos :

Roy Allingham submitted the image below showing himself, the late Stuart Brown, Chris Paton and Pat Hilley. During the sixties Roy, Chris and Ray were part of Stuart Brown’s Service crew on his many rally outings. Sadly Stuart died in his prime. He had quite an illustrious career in rallying and rally-crossing having competed throughout the UK and Ireland with many successes. The year this photograph was taken the Scottish Rally had been cancelled because of a Foot and Mouth outbreak.. The Hotel had been booked so they went anyway. There were various ‘adventures’ on that short and rather alcoholic break – Jimmy Pinkerton, who had taken the photograph, seems to remember rather more than the rest of the group for some reason……! Just look at the flappy trousers and the HAIR – nearly all gone now !

Roy Allingham on top of Cairngorm with (L. to R.) below Stuart Brown, Chris Paton and Pat Hilley. (Picture by Jimmy Pinkerton)

This must be the furthest VSMA badge – inside the window of Alastair Findlay’s cabin in the Yukon.

About a year ago Alastair Finlay moved back to the Yukon where he had been for a few years in the ’60s – he is still there having spent last winter in extreme conditions! It looks as if he intends spending another winter there. He sent the photo below to show that winter had already set in on 2nd October! I only just noticed the VSMA badge in the window! Alastair has contributed several articles on his motorsport career which you can read in “Tales from the Past“. Here’s hoping he might send us something from his recent exploits.

You may have noticed a few additional photographs which have recently been added to the Public Photographic Gallery. Ronald Proudlock from the South of Scotland Car Club has kindly donated a number of photos from the 1950s through to 1990s. I’m sure these will bring back memories of both our rally and racing members. Have a look.

Annual General Meeting:

This was indeed a VERY brief affair! Starting just after 6.30 pm in the Parklands Country Club in Newton Mearns on Wednesday 16th November and finishing just after 7.0 pm. In all eleven members turned up (which included most of the Directors) just sufficient to form a quorum. Following the reports from Chairman Jimmy McInnes and Secretary Stuart Parker, Bob Baillie, our Treasurer submitted the Accounts. He reported that we had made a loss of £158 during the year to 31st July. Apparently, this had been due to the Association being over generous in its donations to charity! Bob also gave details of the proposed 2012 annual Run (see below). The election of Office Bearers and Directors followed which produced no changes – all being re-elected! Otherwise, there was no other business to be discussed and the meeting was closed.

2012 Annual Spring Run:

As we had been going up north to Grantown-on-Spey for the past three years a number of members had requested that, for a change, we should try another area. In view of this, the Directors had asked Bob Baillie to investigate other areas and hotels to find a suitable alternative to the Grant Arms Hotel. He had looked at the Oban area but found that there were no hotels that would come close to the Grant Arms. He eventually settled on the South West of Scotland, centred on Stranraer. He felt that the North West Castle Hotel in Stranraer would meet all our requirements both in location and in price. As a result, it has been agreed that for next year we should travel South.
The event is to be held on the weekend starting Friday 20th April 2012.

Entry forms and further details of the route, etc will be issued early in the New Year. In the meantime – PLEASE MAKE A NOTE OF THE DATE IN YOUR DIARY.

Finally, although a bit early, compliments of the season to you all.

That’s all folks………………. !

Stuart Parker,20th November 2011

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Newsletter October, 2011

I am sad to inform you of the death of Tom Donald from Fenwick, Ayrshire. Tom passed away on 15th July. He had been a member of V.S.M.A. since March 2003. Our condolences go to his wife Kim and family.

We welcome another new member since the last Newsletter – Chris Paton from Lanark. Many of you I’m sure will remember Chris from your rallying days. He was a great Mini enthusiastic and competed in EVERY Tour of Mull from the second event in 1970 up until 2009 when he had to retire his Mini. Have a look at his page to get full details of his motorsport career to date.

Database Changes:

A couple of amendments to members’ details – Alan and Audrey Carlaw have recently moved although still within the Glasgow area, while Rusty Wilson, Jimmy and Arlene McInnes have just changed their email addresses. Each of these changes can be seen in the Members and Details pages. On a similar note, if you have any change in your own details would you please let me know so that our database is up-to-date.

Highland Tour Outcome:

Members will be interested, I’m sure, in the letter below which Bob Baillie received from Gordon Clendinning following this year’s Highland Tour to Grantown-on-Spey.

Knockhill Classic Speedfair, 31st July :

Three of our girls “Sorting out the World” while waiting for customers in the Media Centre!

The Media Centre was manned once again as a “Cafe” for members at the one day Knockhill Speedfair. Unfortunately, it didn’t seem to be as popular with members as it has been in the past – numbers were well down this year! Apart from the usual “Staff” (Bob and Margaret Baillie, Adele and Duncan Paterson, Andy and Fiona Watson, Stuart and Mairi Parker), there was only a handful of members turned up on the day. Next year?

Veterans still competing :

I am delighted to display a photo of a couple of our members who are still actively competing – and doing pretty well at it! At the famous Annual Shelsley Walsh Hill Climb on 23rd July, Alan Macvarish and Malcolm Wishart were both competing.

Malcolm Wishart and Allan MacVarish taken at Shelsley Walsh Hill Climb on 23 July 2011. Allan was in a Modified Production up to 2 litres Class and was driving his Peugeot 205 Gti – best time 40.52 secs., while Malcolm was in the Racing Cars manufactured up to 1971 Class in a Cooper T65 FJ and his best time was 38.34 secs. Not bad for two of our veterans.

Also flying the VSMA flag were Olly Ross and Kenny Allen. Kenny was at the Knockhill Speedfair on 31st July. Despite being shunted off in an earlier race he was 4th in the 2nd race in his Lotus Elan , while Olly was 4th in his Lotus Europa in the Scottish Classic Sports & Saloon Classes A & B.

Documents from the Archive:

Gus Carnegie kindly sent a copy of his menu of the 1969 SMRC Annual Dinner Menu which will be of interest to our racing members.

Cover of 1969 SMRC Annual Dinner and Prezentation of Awards Programme

Inside of the 1969 SMRC Annual Dinner & Presentation of Awards Programme.

Additional photos :

Members are slowly sending in photos pertaining to their involvement with Motor Sport, some thankfully also sending recent photos of themselves (helps others not just to see who they are but to see how time has dealt with them)! I would love to receive more to display on members pages. I recently received three images of the late Stuart Brown and myself in the 1968 and 1971 Scottish Rallies. I’m afraid I don’t know the others in the photos apart from Stuart and myself – can anyone help?

Picture Puzzle:

These images below were sent to me by a Jake Butson (not a VSMA member) to use on our site if we wished. The only information he could provide was that they were from possibly the ’60s and taken at The Rest and Be Thankful and possibly at Gask. Can anyone give me any further info? The date or year? Which event? Who might be competing in what car? etc. If I had more information I might be able to put a couple in the Public Gallery.

Answers please to me – by email!!

That’s all folks………………. !

Stuart Parker, 7th October 2011

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Newsletter, July 2011

Due to extended holidays, it is just a very brief Newsletter this month. Firstly may I welcome to the Association Geunda Young who lives in the Isle of Islay. Geunda was formerly Geunda Eadie started her motorsport career in Scotland but competed mainly in England. She was the Faberge champion in 1979 and a BTCC competitor in 1980 in a works Ford. We look forward to more details (and images) of her career later.

I have some very sad news to report – Bill Syer has died on 7th June, 2011, after a prolonged illness. You can if you wish, view his obituary in the Past Veterans section.

Knockhill Classic Speedfair – Sunday 31st July

This Sunday – we can again be found in the Media Centre at Knockhill from 10 am so please drop in for a chat, a seat and non-alcoholic refreshments. We have been allocated a parking area for our members in the gravel area (on the left as you drive towards the top gate, beside the Kart Centre). If you intend coming, let me know soon and I will send you a Car Park sticker.
More information on the event itself is available on the Knockhill website.

That’s all folks………………. !

Stuart Parker, 24th July 2011

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Newsletter March, 2015

Really not much to report since the last newsletter but here are the items of News –

Monte Carlo Rallye Historique

Death of Members

Members’ Database changes

Dates for your Diary

Infiniti Support Our Paras Racing

YouTube Clips

Amusing Bits and Pieces

Monte Carlo Rallye Historique:

About a couple of weeks after the Glasgow start of the Monte Carlo Rally, I received an email from Member Neil Barrington to the effect that he had just returned from Monte Carlo having taken part in the team supporting an Alpine Renault 110, No.115. They had started from Reims in northern France and headed south. This was, of course, the Monte Carlo Rallye Historique event, but was amazingly arduous and long over 4.5 days and covering 3,500 miles since leaving Edinburgh. Neil had no experience of this event before and was very impressed with the organisation of it and the very high regard that it endears, with scores of locals out watching at 3 in the morning. The scoring and penalty system was news to him, as he was more accustomed to the special stage approach rather than “regularities”, which require average speed rather than “balls out”!!

It was very exciting and difficult with many roads covered in snow and very very steep and precipitous, plus staggering drops into ravines if you got it wrong. He met another VSMA member, Chris Paton down there, who was an old adversary on the Tour of Mull. At least now he can say that he had personally driven around the GP circuit, even if it was in a service van complete with trailer!

This meeting with Chris Paton leads me on to Chris’s account, as he too was servicing a Mini Cooper S on the same event. Chris has sent a full report on his “adventure” on the event, complete with many photographs including details of how the event was organised. Although it is not a “Tale from the Past“ that is where this report can be found. Have a look – it is really worth a read.

Just a few pics from Chris’s Report

Death of Members:

I’m sad to report that John Falconer died on 7th March 2015. John was well known to Lanarkshire Car Club members.

Member’s Database Change:

We received an email from Ronnie Morrison recently to say that he had had to take action against nuisance telephone calls. He was obliged to block ALL calls which had withheld their number! To get over this, he asked if you would amend your phone book by putting 1470 first before his number. This should then allow you to get through to him.

Dates for your Diary:

VSMA Reunion 2016 – Although early days, I am delighted to report that our next Reunion will be held in 2016, on Friday 14th October. Due to the popularity of the Radstone Hotel just of the M74, we have booked at as our venue once again. There are lots of decisions to be made before that date – who will be our sponsors, our guests, the format, etc, etc. I will let you know the outcome of these as the months’ pass.

Bo’ness Hill Climb: The Bo’ness Hill Climb Revival will be celebrating their 8th Revival meeting on 5th and 6th September 2015. This will be the 81st anniversary of the first ever Hill Climb at Bo’ness in 1934. We will be there again. Find out full details for downloading from their website at www.bonesshillclimb.org.uk

The BHCR are keen to have a word with any of our VSMA members who had competed on the hill prior to the enforced reduction to its present length. There is word afoot that a TV programme, about the history of Bo’ness Hill Climb, is being created and it is hoped to interview anyone who took part in the event using the ‘old’ hill. So, if you fall into this category would you please get in touch with Barry Crichton who is a member of the BHRC Committee who will give you details of what is happening. (Mobile: 07928 629388 or williamcrichton@sky.com)

Infiniti Support Our Paras Racing – ready for BTCC 2015 –

The Infiniti Support Our Paras Racing Q50 that will be used in the BTCC for 2015

This year’s BTCC teams are unveiled to the public next week – among them a striking Infiniti with an eye-catching roof. It is the Infiniti Support Our Paras Racing (ISOPR) car prepared by injured vets and, by year three, according to team principal Derek Palmer, from Lesmahagow, Lanarkshire, it will be driven by an injured soldier. The car roof reflects the Paras’ beret and badge. And it is no gimmick. “We will have podium finishes in our first season,” predicted Derek. “By year two, we will be winning races on a regular basis. It is a brand new team driving a brand new car and it will not be easy, but the work ethic and the discipline of these guys is amazing. This car and this team can one day win the championship.”
This season, ISOPR will have two cars racing in the BTCC in a project brought together by Derek and his friend, Colin Smith, formerly the boss of the Afghanistan Trust – now renamed.

The roof showing what the aim of Support Our Paras was.

The aim is twofold – to raise the profile of the charity and, in the longer term, to raise cash for wounded servicemen and their families. Derek agrees his support team has little experience but their commitment is so intense that he is completely sure of himself. He went on: “Working with these guys makes you feel quite humble. These guys have issues that would make you think twice about getting out of bed in the morning – and yet it’s not an issue.
“If one can’t tighten something with his right hand because he doesn’t have one, someone else steps in and does it and just walks away. It’s incredible. This team is not like other teams, it is not about the driver, it is about everyone working together and that makes it very special.”
The cars they are using are Infiniti Q50s but totally different from the road car. The only thing they share is the 2.0-litre turbo direct injection engine. The first race is at Brands Hatch on the weekend of April 4 and 5, when both cars will have to be ready.

It is a fairly short timescale for a new team to get in harness and it means that the Support Our Paras guys will be working right up to the last second. “But we should be good to go,” said Derek.
To help prepare, the ISOPR team visited the Infiniti Red Bull Racing F1 team at their factory in Buckinghamshire. The team had a behind-the-scenes tour and met staff from various departments, with an emphasis on race prep.
They spent time with the Red Bull F1 pit crew — who showed the Paras team how crucial meticulous teamwork is in Red Bull being able to replace four wheels on an F1 car in under three seconds — and had a session in the Red Bull gym.

The Infiniti Support Our Paras Racing took the opportunity to learn from the masters.

The guys were shown a series of exercises — all adapted to cope with their numerous injuries — to help them maintain a high level of fitness for the challenging 10-weekend, 30-race BTCC season. “I had to keep pinching myself today,” said former Paratrooper Mike Lewis, injured in Afghanistan after two deployments in Iraq.
“I’ve watched the Infiniti Red Bull Racing guys change tyres on the Formula One car for years on the TV, and today I not only watched them in action but worked alongside them. It’s been a privilege. These guys are the best at what they do – of that there is no question. Sure, we don’t need to carry out pit-stops in the BTCC, but we’ve all learned so much today about how important it is to work as a unit and as a team.”

At present, there are eight injured Paras working off and on but the plan is for all of them to work full-time on the car. Derek’s son, also Derek, will drive one car this year and Richard Hawken will take the wheel of the other and the team will learn as they go.
Derek said: “This is not just for these guys, this is for all the guys who have been pensioned off, who have been injured and know what it’s like. It’s for them as much as us.”

Some Amusing Bits and Pieces: Here’s three from our dear leader……..

“4 Worms In Church”

Four worms and a lesson to be learned!!!!

A minister decided that a visual demonstration would add emphasis to his Sunday sermon. Four worms were placed into four separate jars.

The first worm was put into a container of alcohol.
The second worm was put into a container of cigarette smoke.
The third worm was put into a container of chocolate syrup.
The fourth worm was put into a container of good clean soil.

At the conclusion of the sermon, the Minister reported the following results:

The first worm in alcohol . . . . . . . . . . . . Dead.
The second worm in cigarette smoke . . . Dead.
Third worm in chocolate syrup . . . . . . . . Dead.
Fourth worm in good clean soil . . . . . . . . Alive….…

So the Minister then asked the congregation, “What did you learn from this demonstration?”

Maxine, sitting in the back, quickly raised her hand and said . . . .”As long as you drink, smoke and eat chocolate, you won’t have worms!”

That pretty much ended the service!

——————————

The Jewish Samurai

Once upon a time, a powerful Emperor of the Rising Sun advertised for a new Chief Samurai. After a year, only three applied for the job: a Japanese, a Chinese and a Jewish Samurai.

“Demonstrate your skills!” commanded the Emperor. The Japanese samurai stepped forward, opened a tiny box and released a fly. He drew his samurai sword and *Swish!* the fly fell to the floor, neatly divided in two!

“What a feat!” said the Emperor. “Number Two Samurai, show me what you do.” The Chinese samurai smiled confidently, stepped forward and opened a tiny box, releasing a fly. He drew his samurai sword and *Swish! Swish!* The fly fell to the floor neatly quartered.

“That is skill!” nodded the Emperor. “How are you going to top that, Number three Samurai?” The Jewish samurai, Obi-wan Cohen, stepped forward, opened a tiny box releasing one fly, drew his samurai sword and *Swoooooosh!* flourished his sword mightily, but the fly was still buzzing around!

In disappointment, the Emperor said, “What kind of skill is that? The fly isn’t even dead.” “Dead?” replied the Jewish Samurai. “Dead is easy. Circumcision…THAT takes skill!”

——————————

And finally, some from our Leader, which might raise a smile from your grandchildren….!

I bought my wife a wooden leg for Christmas! It’s not her main present, just a stocking filler……

Two Aerials meet on a roof – fall in love – get married.The ceremony was rubbish but the Reception was brilliant……..

Two women called at my door and asked what bread I ate, when I said white they gave me a lecture on the benefits of brown bread for 30 minutes. I think they were those Hovis Witnesses………

Just had my water bill of £175 drop on my mat. That’s a lot. Oxfam can supply a whole African village for just £2 a month! Time to change supplier I think………

A mummy covered in chocolate and nuts has been discovered in Egypt. Archaeologists believe it may be Pharaoh Roche……..

My friend just hired an Eastern European cleaner, took her 15 hours to Hoover the house. Turns out she was a Slovak……..

Since the snow came, all the wife has done is look through the window. If it gets any worse, I’ll have to let her in……….

Interesting YouTube Clips:

Just a few, which are best viewed in ‘Full Screen’ and maybe with the sub-titles on.

The Worst Train Ride ever………….?	Click here
The Remember song………. !	Click here
This is the kind of car I would like next……….!	Click here
The Five voted Best Beer Adverts………. !	Click here
You must laugh at this ….Mrs Brown’s Mischievous Call……..	Click Here

That’s all folks………………. !

Stuart Parker, March 2015

Back to Archived News Items

News

Newsletter May, 2014

This is an earlier Newsletter than I had intended but as I had received numerous bits of information and photographs I felt it was right to get it to you before it became too out of date. I have received numerous photographs from people who were at this year’s Spring Run to Grantown-on-Spey. The report on this run will be able to be seen in the “Previous Event” section – but not yet! I will let you know when it is available.

Can I remind you that all the images within this Newsletter (and all previous ones) can also be viewed in the “Picture Gallery” by the various methods of searching.

Malcolm Parkin seems to have set memories alight and caused some cross-member discussion. However, peace seems to have settled – read below.

Address changes –

Our Gordon Brown (not the political one) has moved to West Kilbride. His new Address and phone numbers can be found in the “Members and details” section.

Here are some of the other items of news this month –

Interesting Stuff from Members

The 6th Flying Scotsman, 4th to 6th April 2014

Scottish Malts Classic Tour – 28th April to 2nd May 2014

More on the “Thoughts from Malcolm Parkin”

Interesting YouTube clips

Bits and Pieces which may amuse

Interesting Stuff from Members:

Brian Harrison: Got an email from Brian which will be of interest. You may recall that the HaldaneHD-100 and HD-300’s cars were manufactured in East Kilbride during the 80’s and 90’s, the company was run by Brian Harrison and Alasdair Scott. Actually, one of the last HD-300’s made is now stuck up on the wall in the Glasgow Transport Museum! Recently he was contacted by an enthusiast/owner in Holland and asked to contribute details of the history of Haldane Developments for a website the Dutchman was producing. Have a look at the ‘History’ and ‘Register’ chapters at this site www.haldane.nl to get the story behind the Haldane’s production, etc. This is an excellent effort and makes interesting reading. Isn’t it amazing just how many of these cars have survived and are still enjoy an active life !

With more family and business responsibilities, Brian retired from racing in 1975 and took up something less expensive and less dangerous ………………………. Hang-Gliding.! Check out Brian’s own site showing now his involvement in gliding. His present company is X-C Aviation where he is currently working on the development of an electric powered glider with a company in Poland. Changed days!Brian had over 7 years direct involvement in motorsport, 7 years in Haldane Developments and 8 years in Karting with his son Kenneth, during which time he also developed an award-winning performance logging system for karts and race bikes under the name Datalap Racing Systems. Karting at that time was full of fathers who were co-competitors of his and several friendships were renewed including with Jimmy Sime who is currently finishing the rebuild of his original 1970’s Mini and is about to go racing again! As he said, “once a competitor, always a competitor, I guess!”

Willie Crawford:

Got an email from Willie including the photographs below for inclusion. He mentioned that “Funnily enough since I retired some years ago I have satiated my desire to fly around the place on four wheels by having a part-time job driving a small car transporter, collecting and delivering hire cars all around Scotland. Does not pay much money but keeps me happy….”

Eric Dymock:

Eric emailed to say that he was recently celebrating his 80th birthday! Also, he attached the couple of photographs below which he had received from Andy Morrison. This shows Eric competing in the 1964 Scottish Rally with Graham Birrell as his co-driver in a borrowed Works Cortina.

The 6th Flying Scotsman, 4th to 6th April 2014 –

Organised by the Endurance Rally Association. The event this year, which was a Vintage Reliability Trial, broke with tradition and moved further north. Starting at the Forest of Arden which is near Birmingham, the Competitors drove north into Lancashire and Yorkshire on the first day. On day two they moved into Scotland finishing at the Gleneagles Hotel on day three, having driven much more on Scottish roads than in previous events. To be eligible the cars had to have a pre-war chassis and a pre-war engine design. However, they did allow an HRG, which was essentially a pre-war car, and an MG T-Type as it had two leaf springs at the front. It was a Regularity Road Rally with off-the-public-road time trials. There were 98 starters, of which 94 managed to finish which is quite remarkable considering the age of these vehicles. Again the vast majority were from Great Britain (61) but there were entries from Ireland (5), Holland (8), Switzerland (2), Germany (4), Belgium (7), Luxembourg (2), Spain (2), Canada, USA (3) and Australia (1). Have a look at the ERA website to see the huge variety of vehicles entered. The photographs below are only a few of the ones taken at the control near Carron. Again we are grateful to Bill Barr who sent in these photographs of himself and Harry Merry still doing their bit for Motor Sport as Marshals at that Time Control.

These Photograph below are with the courtesy of Bill Barr

Scottish Malts Classic Tour – 28th April to 2nd May :

This was an event run by the Classic Endurance Rallying Organisation. They have been running this particular event annually since 2007 tending to be based in places like Gleneagles or Turnberry, as well as visiting a number of whisky establishments en route. I must admit it was the first I had heard of this event. Bill Barr and Harry Merry were both involved in manning the Rest and Be Thankful section. Having just finished their stint with the 6th Flying Scotsman Rally, and having been involved with running events in Scotland for many years, they were not amused by the dreadful organisation at the Rest. Anyway, Bill sent these photos he took on the Rest for your interest. For those who would like more detail of this organisation click here.

More on “Thoughts from Malcolm Parkin“ from the April Newsletter:

What a flurry of emails following “Malcolm’s Thoughts” in the last Newsletter! Here is a précis and hopefully a conclusion to what has turning out to be a bit of a saga. Interesting none-the-less…..!

Extracts from Emails

21 April, 14.34 hours
Donald MacDonald emailed to state that “regarding JYS’s demonstration of Tyrrell 003 at Ingliston, features (with photographs) on page 90 of Graham Gauld’s book ‘Scottish Motor racing and Drivers’ and according to the report, the August meeting was in 1978.”

30th April, 23.35 hours
Iain Nicolson from the Ingliston-circuit website wrote: “I was interested to read Malcolm Parkin’s thoughts in the recent VSMA members newsletter of Jackie Stewart bringing his Tyrrell 003 up to Ingliston on a demo. He suggests that it may have been in 1971, and that may have been so, however, I can vouch for the fact that JYS did indeed bring Tyrrell 003 up to Ingliston for the August 1979 meeting – and I also had the sense to take some photos (although surely others did too?). A couple of these are on my website but I’ve also attached a few more to this email, for your enjoyment…”

1st May, 9.58 hours
Malcolm Parkin responded to Iain as follows: “Many thanks for that 1979 information about Tyrell 003. Jackie Stewart has demonstrated twice at Ingliston, and the earlier occasion – which is the one I was thinking about – was 1969 when he demonstrated the Matra Cosworth F1 car, in which he won his first world championship. The engine was fluffing due to a mixture problem, and he stalled the car while doing a racing start in front of the grandstand, much to his embarrassment. He later went on to give a tremendous drive, and it was interesting to note that he was still accelerating round the left-hander at Clock, leaving his braking to the entry point at the right-hander before the grandstand. Very impressive! The Clerk of the Course on the day as I recall was the late Ernie Herrald.”

1st May, 15.23 hours
Iain Nicolson responded: “Aha, this is getting interesting! I’m not sure you are entirely correct about the date and the car Malcolm. Jackie Stewart did demo his March-Cosworth (not the Matra in which he won the championship) at Ingliston at the May 1970 meeting – see photos attached, including my autographed programme cover! As you see below, the car was covered up in the paddock before I managed to get my photos, presumably because this was a current Grand Prix car at the time, which Jackie was actually racing that season, and so perhaps they didn’t want it to be seen too closely…?! Correct me if I’m wrong, but to the best of my knowledge the Tyrrell Matra-Ford was never demonstrated at Ingliston.

1st May 17.38 hours
Malcolm in reply to Iain: “Well, I think you could be correct! I am copying this into my good friend Douglas Thomson who had it as the Matra in 1969. Doug also mentioned to me that Tyrrell used the March chassis in 1970 until they could develop their own car. What a game of trivial pursuit I have started, except it isn’t trivial! Douglas, would you like to comment please?“

1st May, 20.57 hours
Douglas Thomson reply: “Oh dear, oh dear, curious and more curious!! The car in the photograph is unmistakably a March 701, the driver is unmistakably Jackie Stewart, and the track is unmistakably Ingliston. That would make it early 1970 because the Tyrrell 001 first appeared at the Gold Cup non-championship Formula One race meeting at Oulton Park sometime in the Summer of 1970, and the March chassis was abandoned after that. Tyrrell, of course, ran the Matra chassis in 1969, powered by a Cosworth DFV engine, and Stewart won the World Championship that year. The Tyrrell team wanted to continue using a Matra chassis in 1970, but Matra insisted that if Tyrrell wanted their chassis, they also had to run Matra’s own V12 engine which was heavier and underpowered compared to the DFV. As Tyrrell and Stewart were committed to using the (Ford) Cosworth DFV engine because a lot of their money came from Ford, the team were forced into running a customer March 701 chassis for the start of the 1970 season, until they could get their own car up and running. I think I am right in saying that Stewart was the only person to win a Grand Prix in a March 701, the Spanish GP if my memory serves me right, although you might want to look that up.
However, I am glad to see that all the pieces of the jigsaw are gradually coming into place.”

2nd May, 09.53 hours
Douglas to Malcolm : “Shortly after sending off the e-mail to you last night, I had a phone call from my photographer friend Eric Bryce who went to most of the Ingliston race meetings. He said he had found a photograph he took of Jackie Stewart at Ingliston with the March 701 in 1970, but no record of Stewart being there with the Matra in 1969. That would tie in with the photos you e-mailed to me yesterday. So it seems I was quite wrong about the Matra, and I am very sorry for sending you off on the wrong tack with that possibility.
The facts seem to be, therefore, that Jackie Stewart’s two visits to Ingliston to demonstrate a Formula One car were in 1970 with the March 701, and in 1979 with the Tyrrell 003″.

2nd May, 10.13 hours
Finally, Malcolm replies: “After some clever investigation, and thanks to Iain’s eyewitness, photographs, and autograph, we have clarified the position with Sir Jackie’s Ingliston demonstrations.“

Editor: Well done if you have got as far as this. We know now who we could have in our Pub Quiz Team…….. or maybe not!

Interesting Youtube clips:

Just a few, which are best viewed in ‘Full Screen’

A quite topical and amusing advert from France for the use of paper	Click here
This is really an annoying one! Click above the runner when he stops.	Click here
This one reminds me of Boyd Tunnock in his youth!	Click here

More Bits and Pieces from our Chairman

A couple of Primary Schoolchildren

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note and posted on the apple tray: ‘Take only ONE. God is watching.’ Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.  A child had written a note, ‘Take all you want. God is watching the apples….’

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six-year-olds. After explaining the commandment to ‘honour’ thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, ‘Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?’ From the back, one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, ‘Thou shall not kill.’

Shampoo Warning

WARNING TO US ALL – YOU NEED TO READ THIS

I don’t know WHY I didn’t figure this out sooner! I use shampoo in the shower when I wash my hair, the shampoo runs down my whole body, and printed very clearly on the shampoo label is this warning,

“FOR EXTRA VOLUME AND BODY”

No wonder I have been gaining weight! Well, I got rid of that shampoo and I am going to start showering with Palmolive dish-washing liquid instead because of its label reads

“DISSOLVES FAT THAT IS OTHERWISE DIFFICULT TO REMOVE.”

PROBLEM SOLVED

That’s all folks………………. !

Stuart Parker, May 2014

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Tales

Zlatni Pyassutsi Rally 1978

This is the story of the first and only rally I have done in a communist country, and it was at the height of the Cold War to boot. It was also one of the best, certainly the most gruelling, and superbly organised. Chris Watham from Southampton was the driver, and yours truly occupied the hot seat. Our car was an ex-works Group 1 Mark 1 Escort prepared by David Sutton and entered by Cal Withers, so at least we had everything going for us so far as the means of propulsion was concerned.

My memories of the event started on board a Balkan Airways Tupelov at Brussels. I sat with Castrol’s world troubleshooter whose name I regrettably can’t remember; but he was a fine fellow who knew a lot about the world as he went through a ninety-page passport nearly every year! One of his many briefs was to see that Castrol-sponsored motor sport events reflected well on his company, which was the reason for his trip to Bulgaria.

Take-off seemed to be a ponderous and lumbering affair, and I commented on this. “Well,” said my companion, “They’re not Rolls Royce engines are they?” He also pointed out the general configuration of the ‘plane, which I saw could be converted into a troop carrier very easily.

“Here’s your first dose of communism coming up”. This took the form of what looked like a hatchet-faced discus thrower who asked us if we wanted tea or coffee. Svelte she was not. I wanted coffee, my friend wanted tea. She duly returned with a tea bag and a jar of instant coffee from which she carefully spooned some of the vile stuff into my plastic cup. She then asked if we wanted sugar or milk, trotted off, and returned with our order. The punch line came when she once again returned to our seats bearing a kettle of boiling water! Oh dear.
Customs at Sofia made us feel like we were the advance guard of a British Secret Service sting operation, and the first feelings came upon us that we were in a truly alien land.

Customs at Sofia made us feel like we were the advance guard of a British Secret Service sting operation, and the first feelings came upon us that we were in a truly alien land.

Our hotel had obviously been a town house in the days when Bulgaria had an aristocracy; and the huge rooms, although a bit dowdy, had high ceilings and magnificent panelling and cornices. When we turned on the ancient valve radio we noticed that the frequency dial was physically jammed on Radio Sofia – so the BBC World Service was right out of the question. After dinner I went for a wander round the quiet streets near the hotel, and it wasn’t long before I realised I was being followed. When I stopped, he stopped. When I crossed the street, he crossed the street. Not that there was much for me to look at, with the shops looking like they were abandoned Oxfam charity places.

The event had been attempted only once before by a British crew – by Andrew Cowan no less – but for some reason he didn’t finish. Andrew did however provide some useful feedback on what we might expect, and he gave this information to the charming Wendy Jones of The Scotsman who at that time was the leading light in running the Scottish Rally Championship. The last thing I expected from Wendy was a bagfull of Ford keyrings and a pile of old Shell, Glayva and Scottish Rally stickers! “For bribery,” explained Wendy. “These people over there have nothing, and nonsense like this almost passes for hard currency!” She was dead right, as we were to discover: from hailing a taxi to being served in a restaurant, the magic keyrings provided the open sesame!

Our Escort arrived a couple of days later towed behind the Range Rover service vehicle, and Chris and I purloined it right away for our recce. This turned out to be almost a rally in itself.

My job was to navigate the route and make pace notes for as many of the special stages as we could in the few days available. One of the troubles was that the road book, fortunately with a Tulip format, also had the place names in English; so I had to give myself a crash course in the Cyrillic alphabet in order to read the road signs. This was the least of our bothers though. Believe it or not, one couldn’t drive into a filling station, fill up the tank and pay for the stuff with Zloties. Oh no, – you had to go to the nearby town and find the place that authorised and stamped the official petrol coupons and then return to the station! It was a time-consuming hassle; although at least we had dozens of the silly bits of paper which had been provided free by the organisers. And was this the greatest of our trials? No – it was hunger!  Bulgaria is a pretty big place and is quite sparsely populated. The area covered by the rally was extensive and included very few villages; and finding somewhere to eat proved impossible. After twenty-four hours or so, and starting to hurt with hunger, we heard something rolling about on the back floor of the Range Rover which turned out to be a blessed tin of peaches! But could we open the bloody thing……?! We did of course eat cherries – thousands of them! In communist Bulgaria a traveller was allowed to eat as much as he liked from any field or orchard, provided none was taken away, and the ubiquitous cherries were our only means of having any kind of sustenance.  We did think once that we were about to have a proper meal, but it didn’t turn out that way. We were at a filling station manned by a friendly old couple, and through sign language managed to indicate we were starving and needed a place to sleep. Via their sign language in return, we understood they would be off their shift at nine o’clock and would show us the way. This they duly did, and with a farewell wave to our new-found friends entered a tourist site that had dozens of little round two-bed huts – and a restaurant! We rushed into the place and straight up to the counter. “ Food!” we cried, accompanied by the universal signs of being famished! The chef shrugged his shoulders and beckoned us round the counter to show us a row of completely empty pots. We were in despair until Chris pointed to a table with plates of leftovers which we dived on and scoffed! I kid you not.  As the Escort had just completed a full service, we decided it best to drive the four hundred miles from Sofia to Zlatni – just to see if any bits fell off! We were on our way out of Sofia when it started to rain, and then the weirdest thing happened. The traffic came to halt and every driver got out of their cars to fit their windscreen wipers! Ah, the joys of communism!  Once out of Sofia we headed for Varna on the Black Sea. This was the country’s main artery, and was an ordinary two-lane road without markings, and with more than its fair share of potholes. After Varna we headed north up the Black Sea coast for Zlatni and encountered yet another feature of life in a totalitarian state. We passed a few cars on the fairly quiet road then came up behind a convoy of eight black Zils. The convoy was going at a reasonable speed, and we noticed as it sped through villages the people either scarpered or turned their backs on the passing entourage. It was all a bit sinister.  Chris thought we should try and pass the whole convoy in one go if and when we came upon a straight which was long enough – as we didn’t feel we should ‘cut them up’. A suitable straight came up quite quickly and Chris dropped into third and ‘sank the welly’. We had barely pulled out to pass tail-end-Charlie when the driver pulled out sharply to cut us off and held up a machine pistol! You would be quite right, dear reader, in guessing we made no further attempts to pass! When the convoy eventually turned off, we were given a cheery smile by the rearguard driver and waved on our way. ( We learned later that the convoy contained the high officials of the Soviet embassy in Sofia who were en route to their exclusive dachas on the Black Sea – and I bet that lot didn’t have to stop and fit their wipers when it rained. Truly, some were more equal than others).

The rally began with a race round the streets of Zlatni Pyassutsi. This was for four cars at a time, and was primarily so that the local people could see some of the fun. It was interesting to note that there were reckoned to be over a hundred thousand spectators in a town that boasted a population of around twenty thousand.
The event proper started in the evening after the road race and was a flat-out affair from the word go. The average speed for the road sections between the special stages I calculated as being about fifty-five miles an hour, and was just manageable on the twisty hill roads. There were no worries about oncoming traffic, as the public roads were closed to all except competitors, (but not to local horses, carts and donkeys!). Apart from meal stops at main controls there was absolutely no let-up for the first forty-eight hours, and we were indescribably exhausted. The heat during the day was unbearable, and we were reduced to our underwear and crash hats for a time until our bare chests and shoulders were being rubbed raw on our Willins full harness seat belts. The start of every stage saw throngs of people, including many pretty girls who scrabbled to kiss us and give us bunches of roses. ( Ah, would that we had had more time!)

Aching and exhausted, and with our eyeballs hanging out of our heads, we collapsed, still in our flamies, on top of our beds and slept the sleep of the dead for five blessed hours. We came to, soaking wet, as the service boys had to drench us with cold water to wake us up!

So, it was up and at it again, and Chris was flying. We were lying in a creditable fourth place, when, during a night section, mugsy here wrong-slotted which dropped us back into about twentieth place by the time we were back on the right route. It was perhaps Chris’s fury that made him drive like a fiend possessed and we made up quite a few places, although I think we only managed about a notional eigth or so as we were out of time at the final control because of my mistake. We rally folk are a forgiving lot, and there were absolutely no hard feelings, (drivers make mistakes too!)  It was quite an event……………….

Report by Alastair Findlay

Helsinki, Findlay, February 17th-20th 1977

It all started at 5.30 a.m. outside the Smith residence on the Wednesday. Five and a half hours to London, we reckoned, but in the event it took a little longer to reach David Sutton’s establishment, mainly on account of the last mile of the M1 involving a little matter of about three quarters of an hour. To pass the time we had a chat with David ‘Chunkey Chicken’ Porter who happened to loom alongside.

A small convoy set out from Sutton’s to Heathrow, and soon Finnair Flight AY830 headed north-east over the North Sea, Denmark, Sweden and the ice bound Baltic to land in a flurry of snow at Helsinki some two and a half hours later.

We were taken to our hotel in a fleet of cars provided by Pentti Arikkala, whose kindness to the British contingent was not to stop at this thoughtful gesture. The fabulous Kalastajatorppa Hotelli was the base not only of the overseas competitors, but of the Hankiralli administration. Words to describe this establishment are hard to find, if only because they would have to convey an impression that will not be found in Britain for another ten years. From the hot tiled bathroom floors to the saunas; from the swimming pools to the simple yet breathtaking tunnel which connects the hotel buildings underground; from the triple-locking bedroom doors to the general air of sumptuousness, all spoke of a country supporting considerable wealth, in spite of having to live under the very shadow of the U.S.S.R. The Pound Sterling does not convert very well these days, so the cost of living was felt acutely on two fronts. Indeed, we only had one main meal in the Kalastajatorppa which ran to about £10 a head for a one course meal. (All right, some of us had to lay in about the reindeer, barbecued on a spit, but even so! The coffee at over a pound a cup put the lid on things). Anyhow, we were there for a rally—not a gourmet expedition.

And what a rally! The annals of East Ayrshire Car Club deserve a supplement all of its own for this one. Thirteen hundred kilometres—over six hundred of stages—narry a hint of tarmac or gravel—just snow and ice, snow and ice, snow and ice, and all compressed into an all-go event spanning Friday, Saturday and Sunday with only a four hour halt at Mikelli which was euphemistically dubbed by the organisers as “the long rest”!

Before this ordeal however, Pentti Arikkala arranged for a patch of sea just outside Helsinki to be cleared off, and provided a brace of rally Avengers and a Peugeot Estate car for practice in the weird techniques of ice racing. The fun lasted half a day with everyone having a shot in the hot seat with Pentti for which experience alone the writer would have made the trip. To come in on a perfect line at over 120 kph and with everything you know telling you it can’t be done and then seconds later drifting gracefully out and into the next bend was a thing of beauty. All the British heidbangers had tuition from Pentti which perhaps explains why Ian and Andy changed their names to Gemmellquist and Smitharikka for the duration (positively ashamed they were of having mere Findlays and McHargs beside them. Incidentally the Finns blessed Big D with the Kelvinsidian McHerg in the rally documentation.) It was a bit of a pity that practice couldn’t have been done with the competing cars, but they were late in arriving owing to excessive ice blocking Helsinki harbour.

Ian Gemmell’s Hillman Avenger Tiger waiting in the Parc Ferme for the start of the 1977 Hanki Ralli. Alastair Findlay was the co-driver.

Documentation and scrutineering started at 8 a.m. on the Friday, but as we still had the studded tyres to collect and have fitted, it was later on in the morning by the time we had collected the required number of rubber stamps. The first car of Timo Makkinen left the ramp at 16.01 and the British competitors in a bunch spanning the late forties to early fifties left just before 5 o’clock for the longest road section of the rally, which was all of thirty miles.

Only a hint of light remained in the cold, clear sky, as with more than a little trepidation we checked in at the first of 45 stage controls. Crash hats on; tighten belts; check watches; intercoms on; Finnish for five, four, three, two, one, then—Aja; No one just tittered round the first stage, but equally certainly, no one went hell for leather—there was a lot to learn, and a long long way to go. David Lang, however, did manage to stuff it on this first stage, and after several offs in the first few stages, rolled right out of the rally on the fourth.

Gemmellquist gave Findlay his first snow-shovelling session on the second stage, about 30 yards after a brow-K-right, but between the ever helpful spectators and Andy Smith (who stopped to help on the end of a tow rope), we were away again, but down by eight minutes. Andy and David had any makings of a grin wiped off their faces after they too savoured the delights of struggling with a rally car embedded in a snowbank on the very next stage. From then on, the drivers had a better idea of what they were up against, and between Findlay yelling ‘screw the nut’ and Gemmell muttering ‘shut up’, car 52 stayed on the road for at least a while longer.

Speed traps in Finland can be numbered by how many there are to the mile, and with the exception of a scale of point charges for up to 10 kph over the allowed limit, any speeding meant instant exclusion. Ample time, however, was allowed for the short hops between stages, and the system used must surely find its way over here in time.

At the end of every stage control, the last whole minute of the flying finish time is entered in the time card book, to which is added the already printed number of minutes allowed for the following road section. You then have to arrive within the minute calculated—with ten points a minute being added to your penalties for being late, and twenty a minute for being early. This stops dead in its tracks any ‘road race’ between any more than the section being covered, as any time lost can never be made up later between main controls, as in this country.

The organisation and timing was an essay in perfection, and we noticed that over ninety per cent of the marshals were mature men in their late thirties and forties, who, while obviously enjoying themselves and finding time to be friendly with us ‘furiners’, still took the whole business seriously. The end result was no protests whatsoever and a book of results (about 50 pages long) in everyone’s hands within hours of the finish. With many of the stages used also forming part of the ‘Thousand Lakes’, it meant that, even without notes on the secret route, staggering time differentials could be found amongst Finns who were able to drive from memory. The stages envisaged in their summer aspects made one quake at the very thought of the ‘Thousand Lakes’, many being wide, sweeping, yumpy public roads where the speeds must be truly fantastic. At least in winter, no matter what kind of shunt you had, it would be virtually an impossibility to hurt either car or crew.

Yes, we all had our bothers too, as might be expected on a rally of this magnitude. Gemmell/Findlay had three excursions in all, the last of which was something of a disaster, in that it was the cause of our not being classified as finishers and taking the fastest overseas competitors award, which went to Peter Clarke/Phillip Boland. The penalty system was devised in such a way as to prevent people from checking out of a stage a week after the event had finished, and demanding a time by the simple expedient of subtracting the stage ‘maximum’ from the actual time spent in the stage, and adding the figure to ‘road penalties’. The end result for us was 1 hr 4 mins less 25 mins equals more than the 30 minutes road penalties allowed in any one half of the event.

Around this same time, Smith/McHarg had their bothers on one of the 47 kilometre stages. Poor David was desperate for a kip and looking forward to having nothing to do with navigation for about half an hour, when out of the corner of a nearly shut eye, he saw the inevitable happening. They were in for quite a while, but made it back into the rally within the time allowed, after some heroic effort.

Every international rally has a flavour all its own, and this was no exception. For instance: a sheet was handed to the navigator in three languages at the start of SS40 to the effect that wolves had been seen in the area, and that if one ‘happened to be under the car’ to inform “absolutely of it to the organisers as wolves are protected in Finland!” As an afterthought, they kindly suggested that in the event of a breakdown, “don’t go far from your car”. And another thing, just before the off, a marshal would hand you some last minute warning, which was very nice of them, but was offtimes in Finnish, and by the time you had screamed “English”, you were off. All part of the fun, and I suppose, in that obscure way, one other part of our addictive sport.

To debrief for a sentence or two, and pass on what advice we can:-

Finland is expensive, but if the organisers and the replacement sponsor of Nortti next year continue to provide the concessions of free shipping, hotel (accommodation only), and entry, it can be not too desperate on the pocket. Studded tyres should be bought in this country, and sensible quantities of food should be taken. (drink costs were nipped in the bud when we paid a visit to the duty free place at Heathrow). Service should be shared as widely as possible, say over three or four crews. Oh, and one final thing, – don’t act the optimist and put the snow shovel in the boot, or even in the back seat, – have it right beside the navigator.

Back to Tales from the past

Tales

42e Rallye Monte Carlo, 1973

in Ford Escort RS1600 (DRR 111J)

Having barely started rallying, and being daft and impulsive, it seemed the most natural thing in the world to pick up the regs for ’The Monte’ at the Royal Scottish Automobile Club in Blythswood Square when I went in there for lunch one day near the end of 1972. There wasn’t much time until the closing date for entries, so I completed it there and then and took it through to Major R. Tennant Reid together with a cheque for the horrendous sum of one hundred quid! There was so little time in fact, that Bob appended a personal note to my application via the RAC in London which said ‘for favour of stamping and urgent onward transmission to Monte Carlo‘, and sent it off by Special Delivery.

“You’ve what!” exclaimed Isabell when I eventually arrived home. “I’ve entered for the Monte” I repeated. Quite reasonably she asked who I was going to do it with; and this had the immediate effect of making me realise just what I had taken on, and thus began weeks of planning and organisation.

Right enough, a co-driver was the first thing on the agenda. I suspected my wonderful co-driver Frew Bryden would be unable to take the time off for it, although I asked him of course, only to receive the answer I expected. So who was to be the brave soul sitting in the hot seat? With the handicap of the passage of time I am not absolutely certain quite how I was lucky enough to avail myself of the professionalism and experience of the late Ian Muir, (who himself dearly wanted to have the Monte on his CV as it were). I think the tracking-down process was via Jimmy McInnes and John Milne.

International rallying was different in those days, and quite unlike the rather pathetic three-day events in daylight only which we have today. They lasted a week or more and involved days and nights without sleep, and pace notes were something a privateer could only dream of. Also, being a foreign event, there was no question of having or affording my trusty service crew of Mid Bruce and Mike Banks, so everything we needed had to be stowed in the car. Big problem – and the subject of many meetings and ‘phone calls between Ian and myself which usually boiled down to weight and to what we thought we might need.

The dining room at Barnsdale was emptied of furniture and the floor given over to laying out every conceivable thing we thought would have to be taken; but after a while it became obvious that what we had spread out just wouldn’t physically fit into the car, (in spite of a few sterling efforts), and thus began the process of starting all over again with the criteria for inclusion being not what we thought might be handy, but that which we just couldn’t do without. There was much to do, and even my entry number, 307, had to be traced out and painted onto self-adhesive white plastic on the dining room floor, as standard competition numerals weren’t allowed.

With days to go, we were as ready as we were ever going to be; and on the eve of the adventure duly reported to the multi-storey car park near Blythswood Square for signing-on, scrutineering and parc ferme.

The big day started dark and freezing, and I can’t remember if my shivering was because of cold or nerves! A few Glasgow friends including Robert Reid and my uncle John braved the elements to see us off, as did that wonderful stalwart of Scottish rallying – the late Ross Finlay. His advice was not to worry too much about the competition, as most of the foreign private entrants were all ‘flashing teeth and eyes and go-faster tape!’ There were only twelve starters from Glasgow – the other three hundred odd starting from nine varying places such as Stockholm, Warsaw, Paris, a few other capitals I cannot recall, and Monte Carlo itself. Among our little group was the maestro himself, the legendary Hannu Mikkola – of which more later.

Five, four, three, two, one – the Saltire was lifted from the windscreen by Bob Reid whose parting words were, “See you in Rosie’s!” We were off……

There were only three main controls in the UK – Scotch Corner, Watford Gap and Dover. These were easy runs with ample time, and had none of the snow around Carnwath and the Borders that I remembered seeing when I watched the Monte competitors on several occasions before. We only had a little bother, (with the twin down-draught Weber carburettors), which was sorted out in next to no time thanks to the kindness of Norman Masters of the Ford works service crew.

Boulogne, and another freezing early morning, and the start of more serious road sections with shorter times between main controls than allowed in the UK. There were crowds in every town and village willing us to go faster, which we refrained from doing until we saw even the gendarmes urging us to ‘sink the welly’. In France, quite unlike rallying in Britain, where cars seem to be studiously ignored by the general public, but not by the police (!), we could at last let things rip a bit. I remember our first control point in a small town in northern France where we were served breakfast by the mayor who turned out to be an Englishman! He insisted we come with him to see a Norman archway which had recently been discovered in the local church; and although we were in a bit of a hurry to be off, good manners dictated we paid a visit to his pride and joy.

The run south through France was fast but uneventful until we reached the hillier regions around Clermont Ferrand. There was one small incident however which marked out Ian as one of the countries greatest co-drivers and navigators. We were speeding along in convoy at the tail end of about eight competitors, (which included Mikkola), when Ian told me to take a left even although every other car had gone straight on. Just as with Frew, I did as I was told, but did wonder just a wee bit! I needn’t have worried, as about ten minutes later I saw them all come up in my rear-view mirror! (I learned only recently that Ian once co-drove for Stig Blomquist in an RAC Rally and learned Swedish for the event).

In the Rallye Monte Carlo in the old days, there was only one special stage on the first leg between one’s starting point and Monaco itself, and which had to be completed before being allowed to compete on the subsequent two mountain sections for the real meat of the rally. This for us was the Col du Corobin.

I don’t think before or since in my rallying career have I ever known such out and out fear. As I mentioned at the beginning, I was very much a learner driver, and it would be nearly two years before I was third in the championship, and had yet to master even that most basic of rally-driving skills – opposite lock! The stage started down in a valley and climbed way up above the snowline. That was bad enough – but going down the other side was nothing short of terrifying. The road was narrow, there were no crash barriers, and the drops were awesome. I was close to tears with fear, and but for Ian’s comforting words I might have stopped there and then and run home to mummy! We did have a minor prang though when I stupidly braked on an icy hairpin instead of hitting the loud pedal, and we hit the side of a spectator’s BMW; just the other side of which was a chasm, the depth of which I still don’t want to know!

It was at the bottom of this ordeal when I first met Geraint Phillips, aka Verglas of the Motoring News – and I was in a state. Gerry saw this quivering wreck and sussed what was up: so he came over, stuck his head through the window, and in his lilting Welsh accent uttered the words I shall never forget – “You don’t want to worry about these drops boyo. Just imagine it’s a ploughed field out there!”

We made it to Monaco, and, as arranged, Isabell flew out to Nice to meet up with us. We all stayed with a Madame d’Estrange in one of those houses built on the edge of a cliff which seemed to feature all over Monaco. (As an aside, Madame d’Estrange was very friendly with the staff of the Onassis household, and on our first morning with her we found her in tears as she had just heard that Alexander Onassis had died in a ‘plane crash. Even then, just hours after the tragedy had happened, Aristotle himself privately announced to his staff that he was sure his son had been murdered).

A proper sleep before the first of the mountain sections was completely out of the question, and I sweated, tossed and turned all night. That made it about sixty hours without anything approaching a decent kip – but adrenalin is an amazing thing!

We were not to know it as we were flagged off for the second section of the rally, but this Monte was to turn out to become one of the most famous in its long history.

The trouble all started after we had completed only a few special stages, (which didn’t turn out to be so bad, because it was dark, and I couldn’t see the drops!). I also discovered that Ross Finlay was absolutely right about the boy racers as we had to pass dozens of them on the stages.

The next main control was in the village of Burzet high in the mountains, and we drove into what can only be described as a rally circus. There were hundreds of vehicles in the square – rally cars, services wagons, spectators’ cars, tyre trucks, the press – you name it. Ian got out and went to the control point with our road book for stamping, but returned very soon after and told me the marshals weren’t signing in anybody, and there would be an announcement later. The announcement duly came in the form of a marshal who poked his head in the window of every car that bore rally plates, and saying, none too politely, – “Pour vous c’est finis!”

While I went off to find something for us to eat, Ian tried to discover just what the hell was going on, (and thank goodness for his fluent French).

It turned out that a few dozen of the leading cars had made it through what would have been our next stage, but then an avalanche had blocked the route. As the then leading car was French, a Renault Alpine driven by Jean Claude Androuette, co-driven by Michelle Petite, aka ‘Biche’, the organisers decided not to declare force majeure on the stage and thereby effectively put an end to our rally. (We found out not much later that the Clerk of the Course was a twenty-three year old Frenchman who had never even seen the inside of a rally car in his life!)

We three hundred or so privateers hadn’t gone to all the time, trouble and expense to be illegally kicked out of a rally because a young Frog didn’t know the rules! Something had to be done!

The leading light of the rebellion was a Swiss driver who turned out to be a forceful character with a command of most European languages. Our ‘council of war’ centred around a map of the south of France spread out on a car bonnet. We knew we had to stop the rally in its tracks in order to bring about a status of force majeure for the entire complement of competitors, including ‘the ones that got away’. It became apparent that we would have to block several junctions at scattered locations such that the cars still in the rally couldn’t possibly make it to their next main control in time thereby disqualifying them too. Ian and I along with about sixty other cars set off in a high-speed convoy to a junction twenty miles away with instructions to snarl up the route. The blockage we arranged was by parking about thirty cars up the road from the stage and the rest from the junction over the bridge which was the road out to the next special stage control. We sat and waited.

We had the radio tuned to Monte Carlo, and suddenly Ian pricked up his ears. It was the news, and the first item was about competitors blocking the route of the Monte. Here were we thinking we were on a secret mission when every man and his brother knew what we were up to! It didn’t take long for the gendarmes to arrive – and arrive they did. Truckloads of them, and mob handed. They were nasty. Vary nasty indeed. The was none of your ‘good morning sir, would you mind moving your vehicle’. No – it was out with the truncheons, screaming and shouting, demanding our car keys, and generally behaving like a shower of thugs. It was scary enough to make us move.

We then made our way down the route of the rally and came upon a long straight with a bridge in the middle of it whereupon was parked a service van with its wheels removed! We had to laugh! Other competitors and some spectators were parked with us beside the road, and we all wondered just how the gendarmes were going to sort this one out as the driver of the service truck had taken the keys out and flung them into the river along with the wheels!

And then it happened. The most amazing bit of guts and driving skill I have ever witnessed.

The first car down from the stage was the works Escort of Hannu Mikkola. He stopped about four hundred yards from the bridge, and we could hear the throaty snarl of the powerful engine as he stopped there, revving every few seconds, wondering what to do. Suddenly we heard the deafening roar of the RS1600 bursting into life, and with squealing tyres hurtled towards us. About a hundred yards from the bridge he flicked the car right, blasted through the roadside hedge, literally flew down onto the field several feet below, gunned the car towards the river, drove right through it in a cascade of water and noise, roared across the field on the other side, did a wall of death manoeuvre up the banking, blasted through the hedge again, off down the road, and away……! When our dropped jaws returned to normal, all we could do was clap, cheer and salute! Having seen how it could be done, many others then completed the same trick.

The heavy-handed gendarmes soon arrived along with a handful of members of the press and some more spectators. One poor bloke was taking photographs and was immediately pounced on and had his camera ripped from him and the film torn out. Another was manhandled pretty badly. Ian sought to intervene, and for his troubles finished up with a policeman’s pistol thrust into his gut. It was the photograph of this incident that finished up on the front page of The Daily Mirror. Fame at last Ian!

The gendarmes unceremoniously dragged the offending service van off the bridge, and the road again became clear. A little later, and a bit further down the road, the mayhem continued. In a massive field of several hundred acres we witnessed the cream of the world’s rally drivers milling around aimlessly in desperate attempts to find a way out and back onto the route. The first to try was Tony Fall in a works Datsun 240Z who blasted through the hedge quite close to where Ian and I were standing. His effort was in vain as he belly-flopped onto a banking which rose from the hedge to the road. He was right royally stuck!

Tony pleaded with us and the others who had gathered around to get him out of his predicament; but it was Ian, who knew Tony well, who told him there was no way we were going to help him unless he used his position in the Rally Pilots Association to help us. He eventually agreed to take the position seriously and promised to help, so we dragged him onto the road and let him go. (Fortunately his Datsun was an ex-Safari car with lots of grab handles).

Eventually we all finished up back in Monte Carlo and into one of the stormiest meetings of any kind I have ever attended. The organisers were sticking to their guns by saying we hadn’t clocked in at Burzet, (studiously failing to mention that they wouldn’t let us!) We for our part were screaming back saying that the Clerk of the Course hadn’t followed his own, and standard, rally regulations! But it was no use. We were denied further participation, and for the rest of the event became mere spectators.

On a lighter note, two days later was the rally dinner and presentation of prizes which was held in the splendid Sporting Club d’Hiver in Casino Square. Before that event we had to of course pay a visit to the world-famous casino and lay the many one-pound bets we had been given by friends and relatives! Entrée to the best areas of the casino was smoothed by the concourrent badges which Ian and I had to wear on our lapels – and it was truly amusing laying five-franc bets with us resplendent in our dickies and Isabell in a magnificent mink stole lent to her by Madame d’Estrange, beside the seriously rich laying bets for a king’s ransom! James Bond – Eat your heart out!

There was more. One had to arrive at the dinner venue either by car or taxi; so we had to pile into a taxi for the hundred yard journey from the casino to the winter sports club! The reason for this was so that the band could play the appropriate national anthem for the arriving competitors’ grand entrance! Now I know what royalty feels like!

Our last day was also the festival of St. Devota, the patron saint of Monaco – and in addition to the most amazing fireworks display I had every seen, we were within five feet of one of the most beautiful things on the planet: Princess Grace. On the silver screen she is certainly lovely, but close up in the flesh she was a memory that will forever sear my mind.

Alastair with the late Ian Muir (on right) just after their ill-fated 1973 Monte Carlo Rally.

Postscript – The long journey home was a high-speed blast which we did ‘in a oner‘, with poor Isabell sandwiched into a corner of the back seat between roll cage struts, studded tyres, crash hats, tools, and all the other paraphernalia.

Our Monte fiasco finished up at the FIA in Paris for their adjudication, and not surprisingly they ruled in favour of the privateers. The rally organisers received a severe ticking off and were told to provide us all with free entries for the 1974 event. However, 1974 was the year of the fuel crisis – and the event never took place.

Naive souls that we were, we presumed that we would have our free Monte in 1975 – but the organisers, with a completely straight face, told us that our free entry was only for 1974!

Veterans of Scottish Motorsport Association

Website Changes:

An email address change for Stuart Turner can be seen on the List of the Members page. Peter Speakman from Broughton in Furness became a member of our Association in June 2009. You can now view his motorsport details on his page.

More Photographs:

The 2012 Monte Carlo Historique Rally – Sunday 29th January:

‘Sports Car Classics’. …by Eric Dymock

Who owned this Wilson Lotus – Chassis No. JMYWT1?

That’s all folks……………… !

Database Changes:

More photos :

Annual General Meeting:

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Highland Tour Outcome:

Knockhill Classic Speedfair, 31st July :

Veterans still competing :

Documents from the Archive:

Picture Puzzle:

Knockhill Classic Speedfair – Sunday 31st July

Monte Carlo Rallye Historique

Death of Members

Members’ Database changes

Dates for your Diary

Infiniti Support Our Paras Racing

YouTube Clips

Amusing Bits and Pieces

Monte Carlo Rallye Historique:

Death of Members:

Member’s Database Change:

Dates for your Diary:

Infiniti Support Our Paras Racing – ready for BTCC 2015 –

Some Amusing Bits and Pieces: Here’s three from our dear leader……..

Address changes –

Interesting Stuff from Members:

The 6th Flying Scotsman, 4th to 6th April 2014 –

Scottish Malts Classic Tour – 28th April to 2nd May :

More on “Thoughts from Malcolm Parkin“ from the April Newsletter:

More Bits and Pieces from our Chairman

“FOR EXTRA VOLUME AND BODY”

Take-off seemed to be a ponderous and lumbering affair, and I commented on this. “Well,” said my companion, “They’re not Rolls Royce engines are they?” He also pointed out the general configuration of the ‘plane, which I saw could be converted into a troop carrier very easily.

Customs at Sofia made us feel like we were the advance guard of a British Secret Service sting operation, and the first feelings came upon us that we were in a truly alien land.

Our Escort arrived a couple of days later towed behind the Range Rover service vehicle, and Chris and I purloined it right away for our recce. This turned out to be almost a rally in itself.

Aching and exhausted, and with our eyeballs hanging out of our heads, we collapsed, still in our flamies, on top of our beds and slept the sleep of the dead for five blessed hours. We came to, soaking wet, as the service boys had to drench us with cold water to wake us up!

Alastair Findlay, April 2010

Report by Alastair Findlay

Helsinki, Findlay, February 17th-20th 1977

A small convoy set out from Sutton’s to Heathrow, and soon Finnair Flight AY830 headed north-east over the North Sea, Denmark, Sweden and the ice bound Baltic to land in a flurry of snow at Helsinki some two and a half hours later.

To debrief for a sentence or two, and pass on what advice we can:-

With days to go, we were as ready as we were ever going to be; and on the eve of the adventure duly reported to the multi-storey car park near Blythswood Square for signing-on, scrutineering and parc ferme.

Five, four, three, two, one – the Saltire was lifted from the windscreen by Bob Reid whose parting words were, “See you in Rosie’s!” We were off……

A proper sleep before the first of the mountain sections was completely out of the question, and I sweated, tossed and turned all night. That made it about sixty hours without anything approaching a decent kip – but adrenalin is an amazing thing!

We were not to know it as we were flagged off for the second section of the rally, but this Monte was to turn out to become one of the most famous in its long history.

The trouble all started after we had completed only a few special stages, (which didn’t turn out to be so bad, because it was dark, and I couldn’t see the drops!). I also discovered that Ross Finlay was absolutely right about the boy racers as we had to pass dozens of them on the stages.

While I went off to find something for us to eat, Ian tried to discover just what the hell was going on, (and thank goodness for his fluent French).

We three hundred or so privateers hadn’t gone to all the time, trouble and expense to be illegally kicked out of a rally because a young Frog didn’t know the rules! Something had to be done!

And then it happened. The most amazing bit of guts and driving skill I have ever witnessed.

Postscript – The long journey home was a high-speed blast which we did ‘in a oner‘, with poor Isabell sandwiched into a corner of the back seat between roll cage struts, studded tyres, crash hats, tools, and all the other paraphernalia.

Naive souls that we were, we presumed that we would have our free Monte in 1975 – but the organisers, with a completely straight face, told us that our free entry was only for 1974!

Do the damned Frogs ever change….!!!

Alastair Findlay, April 2010